I go through bouts. Sometimes I am the crazy train and I can't stop thinking about it. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming that I'm in somewhat of a constant Bottom mood, bantering and backchatting more than usual with basically everyone. It usually means a lot of role playing with my favorite person.
I'm in one of these fixated phases right now and it's kind of awful. It's not the worst one I've had but it's still fairly pervasive. The difference now is, I have actually been spanked and I know for certain what I'm missing! Aforementioned favorite person visited me and stayed about two weeks at my house a little while back. We know each other's heads forwards and backwards, know each other's tastes and dislikes... So even though it was a first for both of us, the learning curve was a very gentle one. It was incredibly natural. And it was the most fun two weeks I've ever had in my life.
The first day we had alone together was actually a work day for me. I set my alarm almost two hours earlier than I usually get up. I was still really sleepy when it went off, but I was also nervous. I knew what we were going to do that morning, but I wasn't sure how he was going to handle it. I had had reservations in the past about letting him spank me, because I was worried he wouldn't be able to be toppy enough for me. He's a very softhearted and kind person, especially in regards to me, so I thought he wouldn't be firm enough. It turned out I didn't have anything to worry about, thankfully. The way he handled everything was sincerely perfect.
Anyway. I wake up only enough to turn off my alarm, and I lay there next to him feeling anxious and sleepy all at once. We'd only talked as far as "we'll try this out on this particular morning" and decided to play it by ear otherwise. He said good morning, rubbed my back, we spoke for a few moments, and he gave me the first swats just over my pajama bottoms. He told me to shower and otherwise get ready for work, and then come back into my bedroom.
When I got there he was waiting for me, sitting on the bed. I'd had time to get good and nervous, and full of butterflies while I was getting ready, but I know that's what he had in mind anyway. He told me so after the fact.
He already had my new paddle on the bed, a little hairbrush style one I'd gotten from Woodrage only a little while before he showed up. He told me to bend over his knee, but I felt nervous - I am very very tall and he is of average to short stature. He ended up dragging me halfway over his knee (spanking bucket list item checked).
My fears weren't unfounded, as he only got in about five solid swats before I was complaining about falling off the bed and off his lap. It was really our only hiccup. I ended up lying facedown on my bed, snuggling one of my pillows while he started again.
The thing that I really noticed is how deep the contact goes with a hand spanking. I was surprised at how the swats rocked my whole body. And remembering it now, I can't even think of it stinging. It was more like... pressure. And it was wonderful.
He spanked me that way for a little while, over my jeans, until he complained of his hand hurting and asked to take them down. At the time I thought it was one of those dumb jokes. "Oh, my hand is hurting. Better pull down your pants!" But he told me later that the jeans literally did hurt his hand. I also found out when I reciprocated and yes... His jeans hurt my hands.
He kept using his hand over my panties, and at one point he stopped and admired his work. "Look at you!" he said, and patted my bottom. He was just pleased to pieces at how pink I was. I'll never forget that tone in his voice.
After a little while there, he finally picked up the paddle. I was surprised at how sharp it felt, but I was enjoying the hell out of it. He kept a medium pace, nothing slow enough to bore or fast enough to hurt badly. It was perfect, honestly. He kept on until I felt like I was absolutely glowing, and gave us just enough time to unwind and cuddle before we had to leave so I could get out the door on time. My bottom was radiating warmth. And then we had an hour long bus ride into my work for me to feel it, and squirm. All in all, it was the most wonderful morning I could have asked for.
(Captured for posterity: First time!)
