Live Alone in a Paradise

I'm so damn agitated right now, so irritable I can't handle myself, for no reason. And frustrated, which does have a bit of a reason behind it but I am unreasonably frustrated about it. Times like these I wish I had a top.

Instead I will take an extra klonopin and have some damn tea and listen to some damn music.

-Z

I'm not cocky, I just love myself!

As I start actually speaking to people in the scene more often, y'all may notice that not only do I enjoy the handle of "Queenston" (actually a nod at a celebrity I like a lot), I also call myself "Overlord" when prompted to give a first name on email or social media signups. "Overlord Queenston" sounds like a pretty inflated title, doesn't it? But it makes me giggle every time I log into my email.

Just a bit of morning silliness. I'm in a good mood.

-Z

Life in a Bag

I managed to escape my family long enough to doodle these guys. :) They're the characters in the story I'm slowly formulating. I do this a lot, when I'm writing, if I have somebody in my head but can't quite see them just right, I will flesh them out with a sketch and then go fill out some character prompts.

Dev's the girl who started it all, the first character that popped into my mind when I read about the prompt. I already knew mostly what she would look like, and especially that she would have unmanageable curly hair. 

Emma's a little more straightlaced. I'm excited to play with her and I have been writing shorts. This bit is actually from a character test... just imagine Dev sitting across from her. :)

Amir is Dev's best friend and, in fact, that's his blazer she's wearing in her portrait up there. He's a very patient kinda guy. (Edit: I've started the first draft and it looks like we won't see much of Amir, if we see him at all. But I still like him.)

I think, tonight, I'm going to read a book I enjoy very much and turn off the TV for a while. Thanks to all the forced family time as of late, I've spent the last four days(!) watching movies. I hardly watch one movie in two weeks. As a result I can just feel the words slipping out of my head as I write, and I'd like to get those back. I hope you enjoyed the doodles. 

-Z

Say Hey

I posted a thing on my fanfiction profile. As it is a vanilla fic, I won't put it here, but I'll link to it because I'm an attention whore. It's only 1,400 words. Check it out if you like the Hunger Games.

In related news, I think I am going to enter Dana Kane's newest spanking story contest. I'm so used to fanfiction after writing it for, oh... seven years, that it's taking a bit to get used to riffing off original stuff. But I've had my best friend (A, if you've been paying attention) read through my character profiles and my test writing (around 4000 words of meet & greet between my main characters) and he surprised me by saying he likes it and wants to know more about them. I am hopeful. :) If I enter, I will wait to see if Dana finds it worth publishing before I put it up here.

I don't have all of my words back, and it takes me a long time to think of a particular word when I lose it. But thanks to the neuro-protective effect of my mood stabilisers, I'm hoping that I'll have my cognitive function totally back in a few months. I have read that about the medication forums I'm on with this particular med. Depression, and severe depression at that, always makes me much slower to speak and think. It's frustrating, and I'll be glad if it goes away. Until then, I think a few more rereads on my pieces are worth it to have some of my creativity back.

As always,
-Z

Just Enjoy the Show

It's midnight on Wednesday as I write this (Thursday technically but I haven't slept yet), and a lot has happened since Friday. Tomorrow, I will write about all of that. But tonight, I just have this:

Early today, I felt something unusual. I felt hope, and it was simple hope. I have hope that things are going to be nice for me. It was such a total shock to feel this thing, that I just started laughing and crying at the same time. I felt like a lunatic, honestly, haha. And I knew that if I just let myself keep laughing like that, and hoping, I just knew if I did that, it would morph into a kind of feeling I can't get rid of, an overwhelming euphoria and a feeling like I can do anything, whether it makes any sense or not. So... I just breathed, and took a minute to calm down... and I felt really good for having a successful emotion that didn't turn into something crazy.

That's my good thing for the day. Also I found two dollars on the ground in the parking lot. Two good things, then. Did you have a Good Thing today? Post it in the comments.

-Z